In reflecting some these past few days about a talk I get to bring to the Ripon Christian School faculty & staff orientation on Thursday, I’ve found myself reading again from a profound thinker, author & educator by the name of Parker Palmer. In his book, The Promise of Paradox he writes, “Most of us gain our sense of self not from what we share with others, but from ways we are different from them.” So often we define ourselves not by what we have in common but in how we are different…by what we have or do not have…by unequal things. He writes, “Somewhere deep within us, we fear commonality. We want to be unique, different, individual.” Rarely do we notice the things that are similar but we are keenly aware of those ways in which we are different. Where did you go to school? Where do you work? What is your job? Where do you buy your clothes? What personality type are you? Behind this, Palmer contends, we are weighing and measuring; we’re assessing who has more and who has less; we’re in a search for distinctions.
There’s a theological diagnosis for this. In a word, it is idolatry. When we seek to gain our identity from possessions or positions, we are establishing those goods a gods in our lives. And in doing so, we give them power to make us happy or miserable, content or discontent, blessed or slighted, worthy or unworthy, better or worse. “We ignore the intrinsic preciousness of human life” (Palmer, 99).
We’re called to something radically different as Christ-followers. We’re called to be demonstrators of God’s love. Paul talks about that in Ephesians 4:32-5:2.
5 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Instead of characterizing ourselves in the plethora of ways we differ, scripture calls us to share this in common with one another–to be selfless imitators of God’s love. How do we do that? How can we possibly live up to this impossible command?
Paul says we imitate God’s love when we forgive others (4:32). Mohandas Gandhi said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” If you’ve ever had to forgive, you know how hard this can be. And I submit that if you are married, have children, have parents, have siblings, have a boss or employees, serve in a ministry or volunteer at church–you have something to forgive. As those who have been forgiven, we too, are called to be radical forgivers–and in doing so, we imitate God.
We also imitate God’s love when we suffer for others. I’m not talking about those times when life happens. I’m talking about those times we make conscious decisions to engage in self-denial–saying “no” to self. It happens when our plans are inconvenienced…when our day is interrupted…when we’re called to do things or go places or give away things that we would rather not. These are things that happen every day–and more often than not, we tend to complain more about the little inconveniences in life than the BIG things we sometimes suffer.
Finally, we imitate God’s love when we serve others (v. 2). The watching world around us might not understand the faith we profess in God, but most anyone can understand service. How clear would this life-changing message of the gospel be if Christians were to intentionally and strategically do something for someone every day for which we do not get paid? And what if we did one better and did this random act in such a way as to bring no recognition?
Three selfless acts that all fully devoted followers of Christ can celebrate in community–being radical forgivers, being willing to make room in our day for inconveniences, and being quick in our service to others.
Let me close with a couple of questions to ponder:
- Why does our culture fear being “common?”
- Where does your sense of self-worth come? It is from within or from the world around you (position, possessions, relationships, etc.)?
- If all the externals of your life were taken away, who would you be?
